Just Keep Walking

Someone told me that they wanted to be like me when they grow up and I am having a hard time understanding why they would want to do that.  Nothing about me is perfect and nothing about my life is perfect.  I think it is flattering that someone views me as a good role model or someone they aspire to be.  

Not everyone feels that way though.  There have been a few people who have made it clear that I am not a role model and my shoes are not worth walking in.  That is fine because I feel that we all have our own paths and for someone to copy me, it would be a bit unnatural instead of following their own dreams.  However, I feel that people can find a better way to express themselves without having to hurt someone and having literally nothing nice to say no matter how hard I try.  

I do not like the term “hater” because to me it makes me feel there is a person out there who actually hates me and would rather spend their energy bringing someone down rather than redirecting their energy to pulling themselves up.  I hope no one hates me but I am starting to feel some sort of hatred coming from someone.  

If anyone were to take a walk in my shoes, they would see a path that is not smooth and clean.  I sometimes step in mud, gum, and sand that forever stay on your shoes and make me feel gross for the remainder of my journey.  But they are just shoes.  My feet are ok, I am not damaged and I can wash everything away and forget about it.  

They are just shoes.

I am who I am no matter how much gum, mud and sand I step in.  I am not damaged despite the small pause in my path.  I just keep on going in my beautiful purple shoes.

I'm Such A Tool

What is our life’s purpose?  We work, go to school, have families but is there more?

I watched the movie “Hugo” and there was a part where this girl questioned why she was on Earth and if she has a purpose.  She was comparing herself to a boy who spent all his life as a clock maker and had an amazing skill for fixing what many people thought were unfixable. 

The boy, Hugo, explained to her that he looks at the world as a big machine and all machines come with the exact parts they need and all those parts have a purpose.  If this world is a machine and the people are its parts then I suppose we all have a purpose.  If this is the case then what do we do best?  Have we figured out what our purpose is already?

Could it be possible that we are the tools to the parts that help make the world function?  When I look at the purpose of a hammer or screwdriver, I see two functions to them.  A hammer can put things together and take them apart.  The screwdriver can do the same, so it is possible to have multiple purposes?  Are we here to bring people together or tear them apart? Or both?

Sometimes there are extra parts that come with the machine and, at the time, you do not see a use for them so they are tossed in that one messy drawer we all have.  Just like that extra part, have you ever been tossed away?  Just like any tossed part, they are saved in your messy drawer and when you need it, you do not need to buy another part, repair an old rusty part but find the one that was on reserve.  Has a friend forgotten about you until a crucial moment and they reached out to you and realized what your purpose is to them?

So back to the original question - what is our purpose?

Are we the parts that have a function to make things go?  Do we have multiple purposes for various occasions?  Or are we on reserve for something better?

Whatever the reason on why we are here, we all have a purpose to making this world go ‘round.  Never dwell on it just keep living and you will figure it out, if you have not done so already.

*all photos will be produced and edited by me from now on - I hope you like my new hobby!

Happy Blogger-Versary!

Woohoo!  It has been a wonderful year since I started blogging and I really appreciate all of the people who followed me on this year's journey. 

I started with questioning myself about blossoming into a new woman in my blog titled Growing Up and it helped me realize that I am stronger and more capable than I think.  My blog called The [Love] Game was a self reflection on love and what it means.  My biggest question was, should we settle or should we try to work it out?  Everyone has their breaking point and it is up to us to follow through and hopefully you get what you want as it is explained in What Do Men and Women Want?

Just like many people out there, I deal with body image issues such as my battle facing the scale in Scales Lie, finally loving what I see in Mirror Mirror On The Wall, to finally getting back into shape with boxing in Me a Fighter? Maybe. (Speaking of I need to get back to the gym - two weeks is a long enough break).

This year I even hit a few milestones such as moving out (Leaving My Nest), buying a new car and earning my Master in Public Health (Half Empty? Half Full?).  I love my Random Thoughts Blogs where I talked about how I will be bored once school is over, what I love to do in the rain, how karma is a bi**h, and listing the favorite things I love the most. 

I had to test my faith in few blogs as well, one in particular I needed to learn how to Forgive and Forget, that is a challenge but it is possible.  There was a point where I needed someone to Answer My Questions but then again I had to learn that some surprises are good for you. 

I went on a couple adventures with my friends this year which were very exciting such as skydiving in 13,000 Feet Of Adventure to getting lost from a trip from LA in Road Trip!  I also had some great family moments expressed in Royal Flush and Crazy Family and I shouted out to the world about how important, impressive, awesome and amazing my mom is to me in Happy Mother's Day and for many people their dad is not in their life but I am glad to say mine has been there for me which is expressed here in Hero.

I had some challenges this year and I learned to make my down days from a Low To High and that I am I Work In Progress.  I cannot wait to see what next year has for me.  Who knows, you might be in for a treat because I have a few more changes I need to make and more goals to reach such as earning my Ph.D.

I hope you all follow me along for another journey in my world!

Half Empty? Half Full?

Whoa!  What an interesting two weeks.  Sometimes I would like a warning when things change but learning how to handle changes is a new skill I'm embracing.

Saturday, December 10th is when everything started to change and I wish I had a warning.  That Saturday I went to my grandpa's house because my car was acting up. Of course, I don't go to my grandpa's until it is too late but at the time I did not know that but while I was there we could not find any leaks, cracks or anything. It looked as if my water levels were low but that was about it.  Off I went.  But around 3am the next day my car was over heating and I was pulled over in a random location downtown - not happy.

I got my car home 30 minutes later, got some sleep then worried about it when I got up. Sundays are busy for me because homework is due that night but I did take time out to check my car.  Once again the water levels are low but I still see no leaks. I called my grandpa and he told me to check the oil and if looks like the oil levels are too high then water is in my engine and if that is the case it is not safe to drive.  Well, that was the case.

I decided to shop for my first car.  My last two were handed down to me so I never had to deal with car shopping anxiety.  I went home Monday night with rejection because these car salesmen thought I had an extra $1,500 to put down as if I planned to buy a car.  Tuesday evening I got a call from a dealership saying they found me a deal without putting anything down. Hallelujah!

On Wednesday I was beyond excited because I just got a car and it was my last week in school.  However, my happiness bubble was popped due to unforseen financial misfortunes.  I just renewed my lease and bought a car - stressed!

Despite the stress, I needed to stay focused on school since it was the only thing I could change unless I win the lotto.  Sunday, December 18th came around and I finally achieved my goal. I earned my Master in Public Health (MPH).  How exciting!  I am still waiting for my GPA but it looks like it's around 3.3-3.6 GPA - not bad!

Now I am thinking about getting a Ph.D in Public Health due to a conversation I had with someone who put obtaining a Ph.D in perspective - it's so close why stop here.

Dealing with financial issues and when your car breaks down is tough to deal with but I saw some light with reaching my goal and possibly earning something else.

I have a few more things to figure out but "life inflicts the same setbacks and tragedies on optimists as it does on pessimists.  The difference is that optimists weather them better" - Prof. Seligman.

I hope I am more of an optimist to weather this.

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Plan B Anyone?

There has been recent media coverage over the Plan B pill which can be taken 72 hours after unprotected sex.  The debate is whether or not those under the age of 17 should take it or even if they understand how to take it. 

I find it interesting that this is even up for debate.  I find insulting that there are people out there who do not believe girls under 17 are not smart enough to read the directions and I also think it is annoying that some people feel they have control over a person’s body.  I think many people forgot they were in high school and even forgot the number of teenagers UNDER 17 who were pregnant.  Or they forgot that they had a child in high school.  It is amazing how things change.

I really wanted to write about this because I think it is important to have and since science shows that the Plan B is safe to use then why couldn’t it be available to more people since it was introduced?  To me it is not a matter of teenagers having sex; it is a matter of protecting these girls and boys from raising a child as a child.  Now there are plenty of people who had a baby in high school and are living well but there are plenty more people who are still fighting to be stable. 

It is only for emergencies and it covers unprotected sex to rape and sometimes things happen.  I just don’t like that there are people who are trying to control a person’s right to access this.  And let’s get real, there are close families out there but for the most part your daughter will not tell you she just had unprotected sex or even disclosed that she was molested or raped right away so why not have something for their immediate needs?

Sometimes we all need a Plan B.

Just Sit Down

School ends in two weeks for me and I am beyond excited to have earned my Master's in Public Health by the age of 23!  However, like always, I am thinking about what the future will hold for me.  I'm not talking about a career, I'm talking about having something to do.  What am I going to do?!

I suppose I have more time to workout.  The boxing classes are going great and with school out the way I can dedicate more time to it.  There is a 330 mile, 4-day bike challenge called the NorCal AIDS Cycle that I'm interested in doing too. Being bored might have some perks since I might be buff due to boredom.

There are a few books I want to finish reading or should I write a book?  I think I could write a really good fairytale about some oppressed princess who finds a prince. 

I want to take up photography.  I think I have a creative eye and it would be nice to try something new. Who knows, I might be good at it!

What am I going to do with myself? Maybe I should just take a very long nap everyday to make up for all the sleep I have missed.  Knowing me, it's  impossible for me to sit and do nothing.

WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?!!

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Crazy Family

When something crazy happens many people say "well you haven't met my family" meaning that whatever that was crazy is nothing compared to what their family does everyday.

You have the loud families, those that are too competitive and the awkward corky families.  We all have the one person who thinks they are funny, another with long ridiculous stories and there is always one person that wants to start some drama.

Everyone's family is different whether they have secrets they will take to the grave or they could be boring families but what is best about these holidays is that everyone can bring their secrets and craziness together.

My family is a bit different, just like everyone else's, and we may not get along with everyone all at once but at least we all know where to go - grandma's house.

Everyone's situation is different but hopefully we are all thankful for having family near by or at least a phone call away, I know I am.

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