March Madness

March has been eventful to say the least. I turned 25, I'm planning a major event for my job, my brother turned 20, my dad also had a birthday and a much needed family reunion happened.

I celebrated my 25th for practically the whole month with my family and close friends but there has been something that has been bothering me. I've been trying to figure out who I am and where I want to be.

In about a week I will find out if I'm going into a Doctorate program. I'm not sure if I'm mentally ready for it. I feel I need it but the demand of it all can be draining and overwhelming.

I also discovered that I'm loving myself more. I feel I'm being too selfish but I haven't been selfish in years and I think I want to take advantage of that. However, I don't want to pass up on anything that's good for me. I'm a complicated mess!

I think I'm ready for a beautiful adventure during this 25th year. Everyone says that life gets better at and after 25 but then again people say the same thing to those turning 30, 40 & 50, so who really knows.

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Beauty

Even in the dark, the beauty of nature can shine through.

The beauty of you can shine through any flaws you think you may have, rough days and hardships.

You don't need others to validate you, you are a beauty that can stand alone.

Why try to be like someone else? You will always be different, you are made to stand out - accept your uniqueness.

Love yourself and let the world see your colors!

Runaway

 

Pack your bags and don’t look back.  Find whatever it is to keep you on track.  The roads are lonely and the destination is unknown but where you were appeared to be worse.  Leave, go, hide, just run away.

Run away from all problems and distractions because it has to be easier somewhere else – right?  What I need to face is unfair, wrong and hurtful so I need to find shelter – a safe haven that will protect me. 

I have what I need in my baggage.  I have two pairs of pride, a large coward, a package of avoidance and my daily vitamins called “Fantasy” that I take when reality sets in.  I am all set for the journey ahead of me, this journey of unknown make-believe.

As I look yonder and see the horizon, I see endless possibilities for me!  I see the possibilities of making things worse for myself.

My path is long and exhausting.  This path is lonely but somehow I still see this as a better situation.  I still see that running away from all my problems will solve them.

But then I look back, I see something else - I see hope. 

What if I faced my fears, would I still be afraid?  Would I be able to get past it?  Would I be able to get stronger from this? 

I would never know if I continue to run away.

Ready.

It's been two years from when I started writing. I wasn't as active on here as much as I should but I want to change that.

This year was full of struggle which involved my job, relationships, finances, not getting the internship I wanted and plenty of other nonsense. I really didn't see happiness for awhile. It really took almost a year for everything to turn around.

This year taught me to wait on Him and stop trying to do things on my own. Hopefully I stayed humble and I think I grew up a little from my trials.

I'm ready for 2013 & the blessings to come!

posted from Bloggeroid

Grief

When your loved ones pass away, many people try to comfort you by letting you know that they are in a better place and this is the time to celebrate their life and to think about all the good times you had with that person.   

Grieving the death of a person can be as equal to grieving the death of a relationship with a person.  Sometimes relationships end unexpectedly and we are left with many questions but there are times when we just know that it was all coming to an end but denial sets in.  
When there is a lot of pain in a relationship there is a sense of relief once that relationship is over and that you can start to live your life without any worries.  It hurts to see someone leave your life but it also starts to feel good that you can feel free.  You can also remember what was good about that relationship, maybe even learn a lesson or two.  People enter and leave our lives for a reason and looking at the silver lining can help remove negative feelings.  

There are many people that mean so much to me and I would hate to have them leave my life but sometimes their paths do not include me, no matter how hard we try.  Sometimes it’s for the best to move on with your life because you have to trust that they are in a better place in their life.  

A lose hurts but it can be for the best.  Remember the good times, learn from the challenging times and keep focusing on the future.   

posted from Bloggeroid

What a beautiful day!

What a beautiful day it is to appreciate the people who we all love and care about the most.  Sometimes they are going through life changes, tragedies and various other issues which can be a vulnerable place to be in.  

My family and friends are familiar to having to fight through challenges and overcoming each one.  I can testify that my faith has kept me near sanity because this year has been an interesting one and I am here to say that I am getting through it all and I am starting to see a light at the end of the tunnel.  

For those who have lost a loved one – hang in there!

For those who are experiencing heart break - hang in there!  

For those who are looking for a job - hang in there!  

For those continuing to receive bad news - hang in there!  

Just hang in there because you too will see the light at the end of the tunnel and it can get better.   

If this does not apply to you then just take this time to reach out to those who may be dealing with some difficult issues/circumstances.

Enjoy this beautiful day to appreciate the people who we all love and care about the most. 

posted from Bloggeroid

It's Been Awhile

It has been a while since I wrote anything.  I felt a little unmotivated to do much lately and I hope I am out of that slump.  I have plenty to be motivated about because since I am taking some time before going back to school, I will have more time to focus on me.  But, what do I want to do?  

I want to start working out more but my old knee injures are coming back but I suppose I just need to push through it since I want to tone up.  Maybe I should take some art classes or writing classes to help me be a bit more creative.  There was a book that I was planning on writing but I forgot what the plot was :-)

Photography!  I totally forgot about that.  I need to get into that again because it just brings me a sense of peace.   

I just don’t want to have the same routine every singe day.  As much as I love not having homework, I just miss how it made time go a bit faster for me.   

However, being busy again reduces the amount of naps I get to have – so many pros and cons :-)

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