Royal Flush

So tonight was the first time playing poker and I could not bluff enough to not show that I did not understand the instructions from the start. Now if we played spades, that would be a different story :)

After awhile I started to get a hang of it then right back to losing. Trust me, I'm a sore loser and I was trying my hardest to win.

As I looked around the table and saw everyone laughing and just having fun, I started to accept my loses and just enjoy the time - family time.

Enjoy the moments you do have with the ones you love since tomorrow is never promised. As a side note, I will be re-matching them later and enjoy a few more wins, a lot of loses and add more memories.

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School is lame but I need a job!

So monday is when I go back to school...LAME!

This is a little different feeling. I am actually look forward to it. I am currently in a masters program for public health and I love it!

This is weird since I always hated school. Despite the honor rolls, dean's lists, etc. I really didn't like school. However, I was always determined on the bigger goal. I knew that I had to get through this nonsense to get what I want.

I currently work at a clinic and I test people for HIV and encourage more youth to get tested. I didn't think I would make this a career since I originally wanted to go to law school. I majored in government and I liked it and I knew I needed to get through the drag classes to get the law school and be able to compete.

I didn't think I would like the MPH program but once again, whether I liked it or not, I have to do what is needed to compete and get ahead. Studying isn't something I look forward to, it's my career that I look forward to.

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Who knows...but stay ready anyway!

I seen the above poster the other day and was totally confused on what it meant. I did some research and found out that this date was determined through some "bible math", yea I guess the bible has certain time frames that have a pattern.

From my understanding the bible is not totally complete since there are people who say there are missing books. If that is true then how can this "bible math" be as accurate as they say.

I was always told that we have to be ready at all times. We need to follow the Lord's path and repent when we do wrong so that we stay ready. Let's just say there is a date. Would this mean that more people will choose a righteous path? I hope so.

I am not sure when the rapture will take place but I do know that we need to be ready at all times. If this encourages more people to seek the Lord - great! That would be the best thing to come out of this.

Whether you believe in that date or not the point is to get closer to God, not in vain of course or that will do no good.

Stay ready so you don't have to get ready!

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today ONLY matters

YESTURDAY:
Finding myself is hard. I have cried countless nights trying to get the negative voices out my head - am I not good enough?

I give up.

Where is my knight to save me? Take my pain, take my burdens, take what is wrong.

I give up.

Why am I always wrong? Point fingers, scream, ignore me but I am asking you to teach me. Tell me what I have done.

I give up.

Go ahead and blame me like everyone else. I want to please you, you too, you over there but what about me?

I give up.

I am reaching out. Save me. Encourage me.

TODAY:
I have found myself. No tears, no restless nights. I am perfect.

Never give up.

I rely on myself. I heal my pain and I carry my own burdens. Nothing is wrong.

Never give up.

I am learning from my mistakes. I will learn on my own. Your lessons may lead me in the wrong direction.

Never give up.

It has always been about me.

I saved myself from giving up.

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Road Trip!

So I took this road trip with my sandz (definition: my "Sandz" is my sorority sister who I crossed with). Anyway, we were coming from Los Angeles and the grapevine was closed and we were stuck on this freeway for hours. When we thought we figured out another way home but we were faced with road blocks and even more traffic.

A simple road trip to Northern California took us 16 hours!! Yes, 16 hours. We could have taken two trips on a scenic route in that time.

As I was driving, I was praying since I was a little worried that I may never get home. I just felt so scared and of course upset since it was 16 hours!!!! :)

After I prayed, I realized something. Why was I worried? Yes I was lost in SoCal but I knew that I would get home. I planned on a 5-6 hour trip but it is not up to me to plan. I have to trust that no matter where my destination is, the faith in God is the only map I need.

My faith in God helped me calm down and enjoy the ride with my Sandz. It was an interesting adventure but we are safe and sound.

Faith in God = No Worries

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The [Love] Game

So I have to be honest first...I am not a big fan of the show "The Game" however, I did notice something that may have meaning in my life.

The character Melanie and Derwin broke up because he cheated on her and he saw her working at a diner and started to feel sorry for her I guess. He was with another girl at the time so talk about an awkward moment...to say the least.

So she later found out that the woman he was with was only trying to be with him to trap him in to having a baby via turkey baster and Melanie tried to warn him. I don't get the science of the turkey baster but whatever.

Later he comes by the diner to thank her for the warning and even offers her a $100 tip. I guess some can say it was for pity but I took it as he was reaching out to her. From what I was told they get married...happy ending I suppose.

However, my point is that I know many people go through some trials in their relationships and sometimes those $100 tips are a little bit more.

I believe we all have breaking points and sometimes it is best to leave and sometimes the love is so strong that no matter how hard you try to run away, you end up with the same person. In their situation, I suppose it was meant to be.

Humans are just that - human. We make mistakes. As long as we learn and do not repeat them. However, respect yourself and your limits. If you can forgive and let go of mistakes then enjoy your $100 tips. Only you know what that $100 tip means, it could be love, pity, desperation, honest apology, or whatever.

Learn then grow.

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Happy New Year

Happy New Years to everyone!! Today is the day that I leave my past where it is...behind me.

Enjoy the celebrations but please stay safe. I work in a clinic and trust me, there are too many people who wish they would have made better decisions.

I do wish 2010 was a little better for me but I regret nothing since it has made me stronger.

Enjoy. Be safe.

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