I'm Such A Tool

What is our life’s purpose?  We work, go to school, have families but is there more?

I watched the movie “Hugo” and there was a part where this girl questioned why she was on Earth and if she has a purpose.  She was comparing herself to a boy who spent all his life as a clock maker and had an amazing skill for fixing what many people thought were unfixable. 

The boy, Hugo, explained to her that he looks at the world as a big machine and all machines come with the exact parts they need and all those parts have a purpose.  If this world is a machine and the people are its parts then I suppose we all have a purpose.  If this is the case then what do we do best?  Have we figured out what our purpose is already?

Could it be possible that we are the tools to the parts that help make the world function?  When I look at the purpose of a hammer or screwdriver, I see two functions to them.  A hammer can put things together and take them apart.  The screwdriver can do the same, so it is possible to have multiple purposes?  Are we here to bring people together or tear them apart? Or both?

Sometimes there are extra parts that come with the machine and, at the time, you do not see a use for them so they are tossed in that one messy drawer we all have.  Just like that extra part, have you ever been tossed away?  Just like any tossed part, they are saved in your messy drawer and when you need it, you do not need to buy another part, repair an old rusty part but find the one that was on reserve.  Has a friend forgotten about you until a crucial moment and they reached out to you and realized what your purpose is to them?

So back to the original question - what is our purpose?

Are we the parts that have a function to make things go?  Do we have multiple purposes for various occasions?  Or are we on reserve for something better?

Whatever the reason on why we are here, we all have a purpose to making this world go ‘round.  Never dwell on it just keep living and you will figure it out, if you have not done so already.

*all photos will be produced and edited by me from now on - I hope you like my new hobby!

Half Empty? Half Full?

Whoa!  What an interesting two weeks.  Sometimes I would like a warning when things change but learning how to handle changes is a new skill I'm embracing.

Saturday, December 10th is when everything started to change and I wish I had a warning.  That Saturday I went to my grandpa's house because my car was acting up. Of course, I don't go to my grandpa's until it is too late but at the time I did not know that but while I was there we could not find any leaks, cracks or anything. It looked as if my water levels were low but that was about it.  Off I went.  But around 3am the next day my car was over heating and I was pulled over in a random location downtown - not happy.

I got my car home 30 minutes later, got some sleep then worried about it when I got up. Sundays are busy for me because homework is due that night but I did take time out to check my car.  Once again the water levels are low but I still see no leaks. I called my grandpa and he told me to check the oil and if looks like the oil levels are too high then water is in my engine and if that is the case it is not safe to drive.  Well, that was the case.

I decided to shop for my first car.  My last two were handed down to me so I never had to deal with car shopping anxiety.  I went home Monday night with rejection because these car salesmen thought I had an extra $1,500 to put down as if I planned to buy a car.  Tuesday evening I got a call from a dealership saying they found me a deal without putting anything down. Hallelujah!

On Wednesday I was beyond excited because I just got a car and it was my last week in school.  However, my happiness bubble was popped due to unforseen financial misfortunes.  I just renewed my lease and bought a car - stressed!

Despite the stress, I needed to stay focused on school since it was the only thing I could change unless I win the lotto.  Sunday, December 18th came around and I finally achieved my goal. I earned my Master in Public Health (MPH).  How exciting!  I am still waiting for my GPA but it looks like it's around 3.3-3.6 GPA - not bad!

Now I am thinking about getting a Ph.D in Public Health due to a conversation I had with someone who put obtaining a Ph.D in perspective - it's so close why stop here.

Dealing with financial issues and when your car breaks down is tough to deal with but I saw some light with reaching my goal and possibly earning something else.

I have a few more things to figure out but "life inflicts the same setbacks and tragedies on optimists as it does on pessimists.  The difference is that optimists weather them better" - Prof. Seligman.

I hope I am more of an optimist to weather this.

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Ugh!

I am crawling my way to the top and all I see are the possibilities and the opportunities that are coming my way.  I think that once a person realizes that you can achieve endless goals you can either get support from them or the complete opposite from them.  The praises feel good but when you feel someone is trying to keep you down that pressure starts to weigh you down.

I see it like this, whatever I am doing whether it fits a person's approval or not, why should anyone try to step in and change that person's path?  Some people have good intentions and want nothing but success and learning from their mistakes is important but constructive criticism is different from belittling someone.

I am just so tired of negativity and I am also glad that I have managed my stress in a healthy way by working out.  I recently decided to stop drinking for various reason for awhile  but my one of my reasons is that I do not want to use my frustrations as an excuse to drink.  I do not want to develop bad habits when problems happen in my life.  Learning how to cope, deal and face my frustrations is better for me than to run away from them.

All I can do is keep looking up and hope that there is better for me.  Sometimes, when in a slump, you feel as though no one is listening or that no one cares.  In my situation, I have had friends show up unexpectedly and tell me that everything will be alright.  I needed that.

Life is a bumpy road and I feel like I am driving with a blindfold on but taking a break to realize that there is nothing but happiness ahead of me is my motivation to keep going.

Voice

  
Everyone has a voice but many of us do not know how to express ourselves or there are some people that use their voice a little too much.  Well, what is too much? 

We have to take a stand against all the naysayers and the people who always tell us what to do or even worse, they always tell us “No”.  You may have one friend or dozens, either way they cannot be there for you all the time and at some point you need to stand on your own and speak up.  What do you want?  What do you need?  It is your life and it cannot be directed by others and at some point you need to be the one to tell them “No”.

Some people sound like they are professionals in your situation but how can they be?  Every situation and every person involved is a bit different and you have to go on your instincts.  You are the one who is the professional of your own life but no one will believe you if you cannot speak up.

Sometimes I have a problem with expressing myself and making my wants and needs clear to others.  It is time for that to cease and I need to take my own advice and speak up and take control of my path.  So far this year I have been able to make un-regrettable decisions and I want to keep that up.  Everyday my path gets clearer just as long as I stay focused and try my best to express myself.

Finding your voice can be hard but I just cannot let others decide for me.


“…I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul” - Excerpt from Invictus by William Ernest Henley  

Me, a Fighter? Maybe.

I am faced with a new challenge...boxing! So in the last few weeks I have been stressing out and worrying over issues I can't control which means I can't control my feelings. I may explode on people and that is something I am trying to avoid.

I have a friend who goes boxing and wanted me to try it awhile ago but I declined the offer because I refuse to get hit just for a workout. However, due to recent frustrations I needed something to do besides eating my sorrows. For some reason boxing came to my mind and she was the first person to call on.

My first day was brutal! I thought I was going to die. I haven't worked this hard since high school when I was running cross country then straight into basketball then track then summer basketball and I repeated that for four years. My second day wasn't any better but something about it made me semi-hooked at this point. As I am starting to learn and understand what I am doing and trying to fight through my soreness, by day three I was hooked.

It is tough but I like it. This is something I want to stick to and I haven't been happy about working out in a long time so we will see where this takes me. I might be the number one fighter in America...who knows.

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