I have been trying to find answers to why my plan is not working the way that I want it to and it has been driving me crazy. When something really matters to me, it hurts to get rejected whether it is a person, job opportunity or even something I just want to do for fun - hearing "no" does not sit well with me.
Spontaneous people seem to have the most fun since they just do things on a whim. There are times were I am spontaneous but for the most part I cannot let go of trying to control the outcome.
I am just at a point in my life where I just want to be stable, own a nice condo, have the means to travel, learn something new, excel in my career and advance my education. Hearing "no" about an internship I really REALLY wanted hurts because I felt like it would have lead me to the things I am ready for in my life. I tried applying for a couple PhD programs but they want 3-4 years of management experience and I am not a manager so I have to put my education on hold which also hurts.
After so much rejection for the last 6 months, it starts to weigh on you so what do I turn to? Well lucky for me I do not have an addictive personality so a quick satisfactions works for me like getting my toes done and going to the movies. Something that will take my mind off the negatives and at least put a smile on my face. I would rather have temporary satisfaction in gummy bears and a margarita than mope all day. I know what the reality is but I have been dealing with that for awhile and sometimes I just want a distraction.
It sucks to feel stuck with no options around you but at least my toes look good!
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