Distractions

I have been trying to find answers to why my plan is not working the way that I want it to and it has been driving me crazy.  When something really matters to me, it hurts to get rejected whether it is a person, job opportunity or even something I just want to do for fun - hearing "no" does not sit well with me.

Spontaneous people seem to have the most fun since they just do things on a whim.  There are times were I am spontaneous but for the most part I cannot let go of trying to control the outcome.

I am just at a point in my life where I just want to be stable, own a nice condo, have the means to travel, learn something new, excel in my career and advance my education.  Hearing "no" about an internship I really REALLY wanted hurts because I felt like it would have lead me to the things I am ready for in my life.  I tried applying for a couple PhD programs but they want 3-4 years of management experience and I am not a manager so I have to put my education on hold which also hurts.

After so much rejection for the last 6 months, it starts to weigh on you so what do I turn to?  Well lucky for me I do not have an addictive personality so a quick satisfactions works for me like getting my toes done and going to the movies.  Something that will take my mind off the negatives and at least put a smile on my face.  I would rather have temporary satisfaction in gummy bears and a margarita than mope all day.  I know what the reality is but I have been dealing with that for awhile and sometimes I just want a distraction.

It sucks to feel stuck with no options around you but at least my toes look good!

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.4

My View

The view outside my window shows the beauty I could never make.  The buildings are designs I could never imagine to make.  The trees and flowers are always at their brightest color.

The view outside my window gives me some direction.  I hate to get lost in a place I barely know.

The view outside my window makes me calm.  Seeing the sun and clear sky makes smile and wanting to start an adventure.

The view outside my window makes me wonder where others are going.  What brings them here and are they enjoying the beauty around them too?

Open your window and enjoy your view!

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.4

Light After The Dark

Anxiety, fear and loneliness.  How do you cope?

I cannot do anything on my own and I cannot deal with my emotions on my own.  I was told that God only gives you what you can handle.  I truly believe that is true but it is hard to believe that I have the strength to handle what I'm faced with.

So how do I cope when faced with a challenge that seems to never end?  I start to question myself, worry, doubt positive outcomes and drive myself crazy!  It is a lot of energy taken from me and even though I know everything will be ok at some point but it is hard to stay positive.

Trying to stay positive is the goal.  I don't want to lose faith because I know God will be there and get me out the dark days.

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.4