Low to High

I was at my lowest. I tried to smile over it and make a few jokes but there were some people I let get under my skin. They haunted my thoughts and wasted my time and energy. Right when I felt unappreciated I didn't realize that there are always people watching and they not only appreciate me but willing to help me excel.

I put my all in everything that I do and I never thought a person would put me down for being an overachiever. Some people don't realize they are patronizing and some people do not realize that the little things mean so much to me.

To the person who I nearly let steal my passion away from me, thank you. You made me realize that not everyone will be on my side and I will continue to work hard no matter what.

To the person who watched from the shadows, thank you. You have given me hope that I am capable and can do what I thought was impossible.

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My Demands

Hello future hubby!

Before you dare to bend on one knee for me there are a few things you need to know first. I want to be treated like a queen. I know every girl says that but my demands are very specific. I need foot rubs, my space when I'm sad, carrot cake for every birthday and endless love. I have many mood swings so get over it. Encourage every idea I have and laugh at all my stupid jokes. I expect nothing less.

While my demands may seem small but they are important to me. For all women out there, make your demands clear and find that one that can fulfill your needs. If you want someone to cook for you then let them know.

To add to my demands, I would also love to be taken to the movies every week and have homemade breakfast on Saturdays but I also need trust, honesty and commitment.

Can you do these things for me?

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Karma

Sometimes no matter how hard I try to run away from a situation or sweep it under the rug, it seems to always follow me whenever I look back.  I cannot say that I am perfect and I know that I may not be the nicest person all the time but do I or anyone deserve to be treated like dirt?

Sometimes I look back at the things that have happened to me and think - did I deserve that?  Whether it was good or bad, did I deserve what was being given to me?  Looking back I am wondering if I hurt anyone along the way.  Is karma trying to teach me a lesson or is it the same lesson and I refuse to listen?

So far this year has been about reflection and trying to figure out what I need and what my purpose is and I concluded that karma isn’t knocking on my door this time; I have just been faced with a decision to either voice what I want or continue to be stepped on and be used by others.  Everyone at some point gets used, stepped on, lied to, cheated on, hurt, and betrayed by someone in their life but do these things happen because we are doing something wrong or have we done wrong to others?  

At this point, whatever I did or whatever you did I could care less about.  All I want to do is be happy and if there are consequences along my path to happiness then so be it, it won’t be the first or the last time that I have been thrown to the wolves, stepped on, or hurt by another person.  I do believe in karma but this time it is not for me so expect someone at your door not mine.